


don't leave me out

by likewinning



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Retail, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 07:30:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8436820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likewinning/pseuds/likewinning
Summary: "I forgot my costume."





	

"Stop squirming," Jason says.

Bruce scowls, but tries to hold still. He isn't _really_ in the mood to get stabbed with an eyeliner pencil so early in the evening. "I just don't see how this is necessary."

Jason rolls his eyes, deepens the black around Bruce's lid. "How what's necessary? The make-up? Weren't you in a _band_ , B?"

Bruce glares at him, which isn't easy given Jason's in the middle of smudging one of his lids. "Yes," Bruce says. He clears his throat. "Harvey used to do this for me."

Jason pauses. He sets the eyeliner pencil down on the bathroom sink where Bruce is sitting. "Oh yeah?"

"Yes," Bruce says. He laughs. "Harvey had this idea for a minute that we were some kind of glam band. Then… Then he just decided it looks good."

"Well yeah," Jason says. He reaches for the eyepatch he set next to Bruce and slips it over Bruce's head. "It does."

Bruce raises his free eyebrow. "I didn't know you had a thing for pirates, Jay."

Jason sticks his tongue out at him, adjusts the scarf on Bruce's head and kisses his stubbled cheek. "Maybe I just have a thing for _you_."

"Hm," Bruce says. He grabs Jason by the hips, and Jason laughs, struggles to get away. "Don't start," Jason says. "I still have to get _my_ costume on, and get the treats ready, and -" Bruce grabs Jason's ass, and Jason moans, squeezes Bruce's thighs and fusses with the stupid ties on the pants. He slips down to his knees and says, "Okay. But you're helping me with the brownies."

Bruce's chuckle turns into a groan as Jason sucks him down, looks up at him with eyes already done up with make-up, and Bruce has done a lot of ridiculous things in his life, but he's definitely never gotten a blow job while dressed like a pirate.

 

*

Jason's skating through the front hall, a tray full of orange and black Jell-O shots balanced on one hand when there's a knock on the door and Harvey comes stumbling through it. He's dressed in a beat-up Stone Roses t-shirt and his hair is a mess and his eyes are fucked-up to hell when he blurts out, "Happy - what is it now? Halloween, I think."

Bruce is outside chasing Prince around the yard - he _really_ didn't like his superhero costume - so Jason skates over to Harvey.

"Hey," Jason says.

"Oh shit," Harvey says. He looks Jason over, from the tight tight top to the short shorts right down to the knee socks and roller skates. Jason feels himself blush. "I, uh," Harvey says. He brushes his hand through his hair, making it more of a disaster than it already is. "I forgot my costume."

"That's okay," Jason says. "Come on in, man. I'll get you some snacks."

Harvey grins, nods to the Jell-O shots. "I'd rather have one of those."

"Um," Jason says. He knows Harvey hasn't cut himself off or anything, and it's a _party_ , but - still.

"Or," Harvey says. "I guess just get me a Coke."

"You got it," Jason says. He skates over to the dining room, which Alfred and Damian helped him deck out in spiders and pumpkins and ghosts and all kinds of creepy things. Tim and Roy are bickering about _something_ , but he ignores them, pours a Coke and skates back to Harvey.

He finds Harvey crashed over on one of the couches in the living room, and stops mid-step when he sees that Dick is sitting next to him chattering faster than a coked-up squirrell about god only knows what. Harvey's eyes are glazed over with trying to keep up.

"And then I thought about being a model, but you know, what happens if I live past thirty-five?" Dick says. He leans in to look at Harvey and pokes at the gray in his hair. "What's it like being that old?"

"Exhausting," Harvey deadpans.

"Oh my god," Jason says. He grabs Dick by the arm and tries to tug him off the couch. "Dickie, stop."

"What?" Dick asks. He's wearing a leopard print leotard and cat ears, and he painted his dumb little whiskers on himself so they look _ridiculous_. ("I tried to tell him they never _had_ whiskers," Apollo explained earlier. "But he just asked me what kind of cat doesn't have them.") "I'm just making friends," Dick says.

"That's sweet of you," Jason says. "But I think you're about to give Harvey a heart attack."

"You mean cuz he's old?" Dick asks. He looks back at Harvey, big dumb eyes all wide. "I didn't mean to freak you out, dude." Harvey just stares at him.

"Oh my _god_ ," Jason says. "Dickie. Go get some sour straws. I just put a bunch more out."

Dick jumps up from the couch and rushes off, but not before swinging Jason around into a hug. "Ugh, idiot," Jason says. "Get out of my life."

Jason takes Dick's seat next to Harvey and looks over at him. "Who's the Pussycat?" Harvey asks.

"Oh, that's Dick," Jason says. "He's my best friend. Sorry if he scared you."

"Nothing scary about a pretty thing in leopard print," Harvey says and winks.

"Yeah," Jason says. He hands Harvey his Coke, and Harvey nods in thanks. "How you doing, man?"

"You know," Harvey says. He shrugs, gulps down his drink and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. A little ways away, Dick and Apollo are trying to get M to dance to a Gaga song. Harvey leans back against the couch, looks up at the black and orange streamers hanging above them. "The place looks great, kid."

"What did I tell you about calling me a kid, Harvey?" Jason asks.

"What should I call you?" Harvey says. He lolls his head sideways to look back at Jason. Jason's all done up, bright red lips and eyeliner that makes his blue eyes pop. He's wearing one big gold hoop in his left ear. "Should I call you Trina?" Harvey asks. "I knew a waitress named Trina. She didn't dress as cute as _you_ do, though."

Jason snorts. "You're a moron."

"Hey now," Harvey says. "Years and years of law school say differently."

Jason shakes his head. "I've been thinking about school, you know."

"Yeah?" Harvey asks.

"Uh-huh," Jason says. "Haven't told anyone yet."

"What do you want to do?" Harvey asks, but just then Bruce walks over to them, dressed like a damn _pirate._

"Harvey," Bruce says. He's definitely drunk, if the fact that his lips are tinted Jell-O shot _orange_ is anything to go by. "Where's your costume?"

"Thought I'd tag onto yours and be a parrot," Harvey says. "You got room on your shoulders, buddy?"

"Maybe," Bruce says. He takes the spot next to Jason, but tugs Jason into his lap. Jason rests his head on Bruce's shoulder and props his feet on Harvey's legs. "I just heard from Mera and Diana," Bruce says. "They're on their way, if you feel like playing later."

"Yeah?" Harvey asks. "You sure we won't scare the children?"

"There's always that," Bruce says.

They all sit and talk for a while, until Dick comes to yell at them for being _boring_ and pulls Jason off Bruce's lap.

"Bruce," Harvey says after Jason gets tugged away. "Who _are_ all these people?"

Bruce laughs. "The blonde with the wooden stake is Stephanie. Don't hit on her. The redhead that looks like a supermodel is Kori, and the girl _with_ her that looks like a supermodel is Donna. The lunatic in the catsuit is Jason's best friend, and over there are and his boyfriends."

"Plural?" Harvey asks.

"Yes," Bruce says. "Don't ask. And the two fornicating against my nice kitchen table are Roy and Tim."

"You've got your own little cadre of freaks here, Bruce," Harvey says.

"Mm," Bruce agrees. He scoots closer to Harvey, and Harvey rests his head on his shoulder. "And you fit right in."

 

*

 

Harvey wakes up on Bruce's couch sometime after the party ends. There's a dog - Titus or Travis or something, he thinks - snoring on his feet, so he carefully extricates them so he can sit up. The lights are still on, and when he looks up he sees Jason and Bruce where they set up the drum kit earlier. Jason is on Bruce's lap, giggling and drunk, while Bruce holds his hands over Jason's and taps lightly at the cymbals.

"It's an easy touch," Bruce murmurs. "It takes a while to get quick at it, unless you're Jon Bonham or something."

"Which one is he again?" Jason teases, and Bruce says, "Don't start," and bites at Jason's shoulder.

"Oh yeah, Sex Pistols, right?" Jason asks.

"I hate you," Bruce says, and Jason tips his head back and kisses Bruce's jaw, smearing lipstick on him as he does.

"You totally don't," Jason says, and Harvey looks away. He feels like he's looking in on something too personal, too private, worse even than earlier tonight when he stepped out for a smoke and found the two of them making out on the patio.

He should go back to sleep, but when he looks over at them again Bruce is staring right back at him. He doesn't say anything, just guides Jason's drunk, clumsy hands along until Harvey settles back against the couch and shuts his eyes. The sound of their laughter eventually lulls him back to sleep.

 

*

 

It's after 9:30 when Jason wakes up, smells something burning, then curls up against Bruce's chest and says, "Help. I can't deal with this alone."

By the time they drag their hungover asses downstairs and into the kitchen, they find Harvey wearing Jason's pink apron and a pair of boxers, standing on the counter and banging at the fire alarm while Apollo and Dick helpfully wave kitchen towels around to clear the smoke like they're doing some kind of bizarre dance routine. Prince and Titus yip at their feet, also helpfully.

Roy and Tim sit at the kitchen table, passing a bowl back and forth and blearily observing the proceedings.

"Fuck this," Jason says. He pushes past Apollo and Dick so he can get the sliding door open and let the dogs outside, grabs the towels out of Dick's and Apollo's hands, and asks, "Where the hell is M?" This never would've happened with M here. M knows what a _whisk_ is.

"He had to go in early because Kyle called in," Dick says. His cat eyeliner has smeared down into little parentheses. "And Donna had to drop Kori off at a photoshoot downtown."

"Ugh," Jason says. "Okay. Roy," he says, and Roy snaps his head up. "Gimme a hit," Jason says.

"Sure, Jaybird," Roy says. He holds out his pipe and Jason takes a big enough hit that he can _almost_ feel his headache going away. Then he turns to the rest of them and says, "Okay. Everyone but Harvey, sit down and make sure Dick doesn't try to help. Harvey, you're in the kitchen with me."

"Do I get to keep the apron?" Harvey asks, and Jason says, "Only because I'm too messed up to fight you for it right now. Dick, sit _down_ ," Jason sighs when Dick drops one of the eggs Harvey left out.

"Oops," Dick says.

Twenty minutes and a couple more dropped eggs later, Jason has breakfast for everyone and he's inhaling a gigantic cup of coffee while Tim passes around his phone and shows everyone the pictures he took last night. While everyone else is still eating and not setting his kitchen on fire, Jason goes out for a smoke.

A few minutes later, Jason has a cigarette in one hand while he scratches Prince's belly with the other when Harvey comes out to join him.

"Roy and Dick are in there fighting over the last pancake," Harvey says. "I told Bruce he could handle it."

"Good," Jason says. "We did all the work."

"Ha, yeah," Harvey says. He sits down next to Jason and steals Jason's lighter to light his cigarette. "Mostly you though." He exhales, shakes his head. "No bullshit, man, I don't know how you do it. I had a fuckin' nervous breakdown just being a _lawyer_ , much less a mom to all these nuts."

"Harvey," Jason says. He scratches Prince's ears, scoops him into his lap. "I have a nervous breakdown like ten times a day. Why do you think I'm out _here_?"

"Yeah, but… Anyway," Harvey says. "Thanks for inviting me, and all. And letting me almost set your house on fire."

Jason smiles at him, and even with the cracks in his day-old lipstick he's just as pretty as he was last night, maybe prettier. "You're always welcome here, Harvey. You know that."

They go inside after a while, but not before Jason shows Harvey the trick he's been teaching Prince, and then Jason puts everyone else to work getting shit cleaned up for when Alfred comes back. "Do you want to give the man a heart attack?" Jason threatens before collapsing on one side of the couch, Harvey on the other. Bruce doesn't wake them up until lunch, when he smartly orders a pizza.


End file.
